Open Telesales Job Positions in Barcelona.

Many foreigners moving to Barcelona end up working in outsourcing companies to fund their BCN lifestyle. Most of the outsourcing companies offer open job positions for foreigners in telemarketing, sales, account mongering or customer service. But before you can start hitting the phones, you need to have something what companies proudly call ”onboard training”. After the onboard training, you will receive “on-going training” while you are working. However let’s stick with the on boarding training for now.

Onboard Training Inside the Glass Cube

Onboard training basically means that you are a couple of weeks jailed inside the same boring conference room with 10 to 20 people. But, what to expect from the training sessions in the glass cube jail with non-existing air condition?

In the beginning your future colleagues call you as ”new meat” while they are smirking and strolling past that showcase cube you’re stuck in. Nine times out of ten your trainer is a thirty-something Frenchman with horrendous English. The only thing lacking more than his language skills is his sense of humor. After the oh-so-awkward ”introducing yourself part”, you notice that you are surrounded by dimwits. In the end you even start to wonder how these poor training colleagues of yours have managed to survive the rapidly changing world so far.

Organization Orgasms

An advice for all of my Nordic or German brothers and sisters out there… Do not expect to be shivering in the hands of ”organization orgasms”. Everybody knows about Spanish efficiency. The training days drag on from 9am to 6pm. The things that can be learned in one afternoon are taught in nine hours. As you repeat the same things too many times, you cannot help but think that the training is meant for mentally challenged retards. You will also meet that one douchebag who asks his or her last set of question at 5.59pm, when your head is already at the nearest terrace.

Sand Up to your Ass Crack

During the training you need to get your stick figurine drawing hand in shape. You are going to be doing some group activities, where you have to ”visualize the customer call cycle”. You also need to describe in pictures and words the meaning of “customer satisfaction”. Sounds delightful, doesn’t it? For all you introverts out there. Be aware, because you will have to make presentations and roleplaying scenarios from other groups’ drawings. It feels probably as comfortable as sticking couple of fistfuls of sand up to your ass crack. While other groups are doing their presentations, staying awake or not dying out of shared sense of shame, is also very challenging.

The Computer

Hold your horses. Don’t get excited when you are provided with a computer for the training. You’re probably looking at one week (at least) of waiting before the tech guys can create credentials for you and your oh-so-bright future colleagues. Also, don’t get surprised if the HR department can’t count. Your group of 15 will probably get only 10 computers. But sharing is caring, right?

To fight the boredom, after you finally log into the computer, you might want to spend some quality time online. Maybe you can finally stop playing the game ”Who Should I Kill First”- in your head. But you will sadly realize that the new company policy denies the access to everywhere else except the company’s own websites.

How to apply the information learned?

Finally, after the entire role-playing, drawing stick figures, engaging, interacting, online courses, multiple choice questionnaires and endless repeating, the training is over. When you start to work, you can’t help wondering how the hell is it possible to apply any of the information learned from the past three weeks of training. Your new place reminds you shockingly little of the work described during the training session.

In the end you will be asked to fill out an online form and give feedback of the onboard training. A word of advice! Don’t bother. The final questionnaires ain’t gonna change anything.

Tomi Antila